Post-Orlando let down, aka re-entry

I went to Orlando again. And it's just as hard to describe. But I finally have words for one part and wanted to share.

I was on a pedestal...
...It was hard to step off.

Here's what happened. In Orlando, moms praise you for ANYTHING you do. Seriously.
Take the 5K. If you run it, they cheer. If you walk it, they cheer. If you hoop at the finish line instead, they cheer. If you cheer for others, they cheer. If you quit, they cheer. If you stay home in bed, they cheer. If you drive a van, they hold up the finish line and cheer. Whatever you want or need to do for you, they cheer.
And the same goes for your RADical parenting. Good or bad, they cheer, because at least you're doing it. Here's a quote from last year's post...

I was reminded that I do a lot of things right, and even more wrong, but greatly encouraged because I DO them. Did you catch that?
These moms thought I was awesome just because I do them.
Most people have no idea that I do them.
Can you imagine? I honestly wish every single one of you could. For the FIRST time ever, I felt fully loved, respected, appreciated, and encouraged by people other than my husband who fully understand what it's like to live with RAD.

Dealing with my RADical life, I sometimes "step down". I might not actually put normal other moms on a pedestal, but I do take a step below them in my mind. I have more to deal with, I get overwhelmed, I don't always do a good job, etc. I don't think they're better, luckier maybe, but I see them on a different level from me. So in my daily life, I know I'm trying and sometimes I'm amazing, but I just feel a step below.

In Orlando, moms say GET UP THERE MAMA! Step up here on this pedestal and let me tell you how awesome you are! I can't argue, because they're busy climbing up with me. And it's so fun at the top. It's a weekend beyond description (at least for now)...

Then you go home.

And no one sees the pedestal. They want food, love, attention, time, clean dishes... They don't ask if you'd like to sleep in, or eat this bag of cookies, or stay up late with your friends, or learn to knit, or soak in the hot tub, or read in peace. And more importantly, they don't tell you how awesome you are.

I was angry, but I wasn't sure why.
Sure, there's payback for mom being gone for days, we all expect that from RADicals.
Sure, there's a mourning period after such a refreshing retreat from RADical real life.
And sure, you miss your wonderful, supportive friends.
But after all that, I was still mad and didn't even know why. I should be happy. It was great, I learned a lot, and I was very glad to be home. But I was mad, resentful, mean even!

After a few arguments discussions with my poor husband, I finally realized I forgot to step off of the pedestal and get back to life. I'm still completely awesome and my heart's still perched up there grinning, but I needed to start using the tools I received to be an awesome mom. I had to get out of bed, put away the snacks, and start loving on my family again.

And guess what? I was happy!

And guess what else? I didn't step back down below the normal other moms. I stepped right there beside them. Budge over ladies, make room. This mom is awesome, even when I'm not awesome, whether I'm on my pedestal or not!

I ♥ Orlando.

You first

Thought of the day: You know how Christine is always saying we can’t not do what we ask our children to do? (Yes, I hate her too.) But I’ve been thinking about all of us. The same way we simply want our kids to ACCEPT our love, that we freely offer NO MATTER WHAT they are/say/do… God loves every one of us NO MATTER WHAT we are/say/do. EVEN IF we have a horrible day of yelling, we shame our kids, we push them away, we think terrible thoughts, we say hurtful things… He still loves us. Period. We beg our kids to accept that, yet we think how could God love us when we’re struggling so bad, or ready to give up, or have given up, or don’t give him a second thought. He’s still there and he still simply loves us. No matter what. Think about this the next time you frustratingly tell your daughter “Will you PUH-LEASE just realize we love you NO MATTER WHAT?”
You first.