Friday, September 12, 2008

sad feelings and movies

friday is family movie night, so always pizza, popcorn, and a movie. my two RADicals drive me INSANE during movies because they can't handle the emotional parts. i get into movies and love to identify with the characters. k, i cry like a baby. :) but as soon as a movie get quiet, you know the part where they WANT you to feel sad and emotional, those two get loud, bored, need something, jump up, ask questions, etc. to the point where i hate watching movies with them. i'm always shushing trying to get them to be quiet so 1. i can enjoy it and 2. they can learn to feel sad like normal kids. our AT's suggested we watch sad movies with them and really help them feel the sad. i try but man it's hard. i do better in all other areas and i (also suggested by our AT) empathize and say how i would be so sad too, and say wow you do look so sad, look at your face, etc. but it's hard during movies!
anyway, tonight we watched bridge to terabithia (highly recommended if you're also working on sad) and i was dreading them ruining it for me as usual, but trying to stay focused on helping them. so as it got close to the sad stuff, i quietly kinda prepped them so they'd stay quiet, then cuddled, rubbed backs, held hands, and very quietly talked about what was sad (kinda talking so they couldn't). and they did great! mr's getting better about saying that's a sad part, it's sad when that happens. seems more like he knows he should say it then he actually feels it, but he's getting it! em still thinks i'm weird for being sad, maybe she'll get there one day. but i was proud of them for staying quiet and quietly talking about sad, and didn't want them to ruin the moment, so after what i thought was enough time of sad, i offered cookies. and after a break, they still did really well when we got back to the movie. so i think it was a very successful night of sad! and happy, it does have a happy ending, which is a must for me to like the movie! :)


familygregg said...

Yeah, this has been hard for me to. We are a film family. It's one of our favorite things to films together. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. It's so normal to see Mom crying.

I definately had a hard time w/girlie when she.....not only didn't cry.....but laughed.

The worst for me emotionally was when a young boy in our church died and she was laughing all the way to the cemetary. I got it. I understood why....but I ws horrified and so scared for her future.

One of my best moments surrounding this sort of thing was when I miscarried this last time. The kids were in the ultra sound room w/me when the doctor gave us the news that we had lost our heartbeat. She was devestated. Appropriately so. She cried and cried. it was a breakthrough moment. A blessing out of loss.

CJ Merrell said...

I learn from your engineered insight. My boy is super survival during the previews, and he doesn't have a quiet mode. After every preview, "can I see that Mommy?" ugh.. I'm like SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and people are probably thinking they shouldn't have sat close to us. We usually go see movies during the day when no one is around. ;) then he can be as loud as he wants.. WAY TO GO!!! on bittersweet progress --