Thursday, February 26, 2009

tears, actual, real, non-fake tears!

MY EM CAN CRY! it's so good to know! what a hard, horrible day it was for all of us, but i'm honestly just blown away by her response to losing our beloved pup. i thought mr would be sad, since he's learned to feel his sadness. but i was trying to mentally prepare for em to be, well, not sad, but she shocked me. she was incredibly torn up and just sobbed and sobbed hard! and you RADical moms know that is AWESOME! now, after almost 3 years, i've finally seen real emotion from both my RADicals!
yes it's painfully sad and i'd never wish it on any of you, or my family, or myself, but it's so good to know em really made a genuine connection at long last. i wasn't going to tell the kids that we were putting her down, i was just scared because they're still so insecure with us. and it was mr's first question (if we get cancer they'll do that to us??) but dad thought we should and i'm so glad we did. the kids had a whole day to spend with her to say goodbye and they took good care of her and gave her lots of love. they helped dad dig the grave and even made her cards.
we brought her home (the kids didn't go with us) and buried her and shared stories and all of us cried hard and long. it was an amazing day of bonding for us. dad said it was like it was her last gift to us, and worth a year of attachment therapy!
so she's no longer in pain, and though we are, it's good that two RADicals who learned to block the pain are starting to feel it again because we all know that means they can feel the LOVE again too! so a terrible day, but a great day, all in the same day for this family.


Diana said...

And what a precious gift it was! Thanks for sharing, even though it's hard.

Brie said...

Truly a wonderful story! My parents dog, Reggie, passed away back in May. It was the first time we truly saw real emotion from our RAD kid. She was so heartbroken, because he was her only real 'friend.' And he had such a strong personality, so we all miss him. But it was comforting to see her respond in such a typical manner, and to see that there is the possibility for love and bonding in her. thanks for telling this story!

Tonya said...

That is so wonderful that she could express her emotions for her pet. I am so happy for you and for her!

Simply Moms said...

Oh, how I love these deep and normal responses. So good.
:) Dawn

Brie said...

just to let you know i nominated you for a blog award! hope all is well with your family!