First of all, I think these parents are 100% correct and actually love what they're doing and admit this post is motivated completely by jealousy on my part...
With that out of the way, does anyone else get annoyed with normal people who do attachment parenting? Don't get me wrong, I love that they do, just not that they call it that. I want to scream that's simply parenting! That's how it should be! (Granted, it is quite different than much of today's normal parenting but they're already attached!)
I get that they're using great principles and increasing attachment (and aware of doing so) and doing it to a new level even and that they rock, but if you have attachment, it's sooooo different than trying to get attachment. If there's no RAD, trauma, or the many, many other issues that make trying to get attachment so um, insane, well, that's just good parenting! That's easy! (As easy as parenting is, which it isn't, but it's not trauma parenting!) But that's what so many of us would like to go back in time and get, to attach from the beginning and not have to fight so hard for it.
Is that horrible? That's okay, it's my blog. But does anyone else get annoyed with it? Does anyone else want to say dump your baby out of that sling, give him to someone else to abuse for a few years, THEN see if you can do it? I know, that IS horrible.
And see, total jealousy on my part, I know. I guess selfishly I'm saying I do what you do, but mine is way, way harder. Wahh, what a baby. :)
the family
- Unspeakable Joy
- we're a family of 5 living an incredible adventure together in an RV! we have three adopted kids ages 15, 15, and 12 - two with reactive attachment disorder (RAD), all with past trauma. these are the true stories of our family, although names have been changed to protect the innocent (and guilty).
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11 comments:
I think a lot of bio kids have attachment issues because our society expects them to be self sufficient from birth and I don't agree with that. What bothers me is the people that whine about their kids behaviors and they are just fussing a bit. I'd gladly trade their kids behavior for my kids screaming, ODD, RAD, and rejection. Paaaleeease!!!
*giggle* (Preach it, sister!)
I hadn't thought too much about it, but I get what you mean.
I'd like to know more about the Niacin, but can't seem to find something specifically talking about kids who struggle with attachment and being regulated with the little day to day things.
My younger sister doesn't have full blown RAD in our opinion, but she has struggled the most with attachment of my younger siblings. (All adopted) When you described your daughters "little" issues it really reminded me of my sister and makes me wonder if it would also help her.
My parents are completely for everything as natural as possible, so none are on meds for the ADHD, ADD, OCD, tendencies. They are doing natural supplements that seem to help though.
What my mom would like to know is if you're using the flush or non-flush formula. Do you need the flush to truly have the effect your looking for?
Thanks!
To Elizabeth: Non-flush. Which is mostly what you find anyways.
I am more jealous that I am not getting the opportunity to be that great parent. Resenting your child in that way is not cool, but some days it's where I'm at. I'm also jealous that they did not get me early on to see me be that great parent. Of coarse, my eldest was born when I was only 8....so....
Tough stuff.
Blessings!
Hannah
Thanks for the reply Hannah_Rae. How much did you start your child out on?
Hannah, I wish my kids could have seen how awesome I would have been!!
With Em, she takes 2 pills a day, not sure how much that it, but it's what I found at Walmart. 1 works, but at the end of the day I notice a difference so we went to 2. We did morning and lunch but kept forgetting.
I just found your blog, read this first post, and am standing here applauding!! GOOD LORD YES!!!!
Hi. I'm Julie. I found you through Dawnz new blog. Great post. I think all parents should use attachment parenting. I'm the best mom I've ever been, even though I live closer to the edge than I ever have. This is the way to REALLY love your kids.
But, I hate it when regular parents say, "Oh, I know what you mean...my kid..." Yeah, yeah yeah. You have NO IDEA.
new reader. :-) Nice to meetcha!
Drop by my place whenever you get a chance... http://www.attachmentandintegrationmethods.com
Lots of resources collected over a dozen years.
Kathleen Benckendorf
Loooooove it. We have 9, and only two are bio and attached...and YES there is a HUGE GIANT differane in attachmnet parenting my RAD kiddo's than my bios...(I can beat my bios..they bounce right back...TOTALLY JOKING)...but YES I get sick of the "oh your attachmnet parenting too? Questions by people that DON'T know what we are really dealing,faceing, fighting everyday!
I hear you. I just keep thinking, they are fighting with all they have to keep their kid from having what my kid has. There's something about it that makes me just curl inside. I am glad they do it because anyone with a RAD kid knows it's worth fighting against. But it still makes me sad. I want to be able to say, "Hey, my kid's not so bad." But the truth is, he IS THAT BAD. So, the thing that irks me is that I have NO leg to stand on to tell them to stick their pretty little attachment parenting in their ear. :)
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