Wednesday, September 24, 2008

i'm buying my daughter's love with milk duds

i know it's not exactly buying her love, but sometimes it feels that way! i'm sure some of you can relate. (hopefully) i understand the whole milk and sugar and sweet and nurturing and all that stuff her brain needs to attach, and i understand that she missed that as a baby, so i do it. but some days it just feels like i'm bribing her to like me. :) but em decided in therapy that food was the way to her heart, so we're going with it. any way to get to that deeply hidden, walled up, closed off heart!
but i had to share one success from last night. em's been doing some extra laundry helping because she's made more work for me by putting clean (folded still!) clothes in the hamper instead of away in her room. so last night i told her she had a load of socks to match up and she threw a little whining fit. i got a "but i don't like doing it" and my "well i don't like it either but i do it all the time, even for your clean clothes" lecture wasn't effective of course. it was the end of the night so i was fried, tired, and irritated and really wanted to yell just stop whining and do it! but i tried to be a good RADical mom, took a deep breath, and thought how can i salvage this? so i went back in, gave her a milk dud to make it easier, then stayed to help her do it. and it turned around completely! she kept saying this is so much fun, it's like a matching game, i love doing this, this is cool... so i was very pleased! small success, but still a success! and i think it's more of a success for me, for sucking it up and acting like a good mom no matter how she was acting. that's hard for me! anyway, just had to share. :)


Alyssa's Mom said...

It is hard sometime when you feel like you are rewarding them for being a brat! But just remember the bigger picture. It is all about forming the bond and if you are the Mom that hands out candy and helps with chores, who cares!

You are an awesome Mom!

Sean's Ladies said...

yay! Love the milk duds!!!

ditto alyssa's mom! I always say it is easier to curb a princess attitude than convince a child they are precious. Better to be the over loving celebrating connecting mom!