One of those days?

Ever have one of those where your supportive husband just throws all
your research & energy spent trying to understand what your RADicals
need out the door saying we can't give them what they need, so let's
just use what we have & teach them they have to work through their
problems? No, consequences don't work, but we can't be the parents
they need, so let's just pile on more consequences? (Surely that will
work??)
They do need structure and a work ethic but I don't think we can force
it on them. Hasn't worked yet. Despite all the leaps & bounds of
improvement & attaching, yes, let's just give up & do what we 100%
know doesn't work. Cause that makes more sense than trying to be the
parents they need. Argh!