My Orlando

As soon as I saw this, I knew I had to tweak it for Orlando. ❤  This is for all of my trauma mamas, especially my Haven family who keeps my nest cozy and keeps the chocolate coming.

Post-Orlando let down, aka re-entry

I went to Orlando again. And it's just as hard to describe. But I finally have words for one part and wanted to share.

I was on a pedestal...
...It was hard to step off.

Here's what happened. In Orlando, moms praise you for ANYTHING you do. Seriously.
Take the 5K. If you run it, they cheer. If you walk it, they cheer. If you hoop at the finish line instead, they cheer. If you cheer for others, they cheer. If you quit, they cheer. If you stay home in bed, they cheer. If you drive a van, they hold up the finish line and cheer. Whatever you want or need to do for you, they cheer.
And the same goes for your RADical parenting. Good or bad, they cheer, because at least you're doing it. Here's a quote from last year's post...

I was reminded that I do a lot of things right, and even more wrong, but greatly encouraged because I DO them. Did you catch that?
These moms thought I was awesome just because I do them.
Most people have no idea that I do them.
Can you imagine? I honestly wish every single one of you could. For the FIRST time ever, I felt fully loved, respected, appreciated, and encouraged by people other than my husband who fully understand what it's like to live with RAD.

Dealing with my RADical life, I sometimes "step down". I might not actually put normal other moms on a pedestal, but I do take a step below them in my mind. I have more to deal with, I get overwhelmed, I don't always do a good job, etc. I don't think they're better, luckier maybe, but I see them on a different level from me. So in my daily life, I know I'm trying and sometimes I'm amazing, but I just feel a step below.

In Orlando, moms say GET UP THERE MAMA! Step up here on this pedestal and let me tell you how awesome you are! I can't argue, because they're busy climbing up with me. And it's so fun at the top. It's a weekend beyond description (at least for now)...

Then you go home.

And no one sees the pedestal. They want food, love, attention, time, clean dishes... They don't ask if you'd like to sleep in, or eat this bag of cookies, or stay up late with your friends, or learn to knit, or soak in the hot tub, or read in peace. And more importantly, they don't tell you how awesome you are.

I was angry, but I wasn't sure why.
Sure, there's payback for mom being gone for days, we all expect that from RADicals.
Sure, there's a mourning period after such a refreshing retreat from RADical real life.
And sure, you miss your wonderful, supportive friends.
But after all that, I was still mad and didn't even know why. I should be happy. It was great, I learned a lot, and I was very glad to be home. But I was mad, resentful, mean even!

After a few arguments discussions with my poor husband, I finally realized I forgot to step off of the pedestal and get back to life. I'm still completely awesome and my heart's still perched up there grinning, but I needed to start using the tools I received to be an awesome mom. I had to get out of bed, put away the snacks, and start loving on my family again.

And guess what? I was happy!

And guess what else? I didn't step back down below the normal other moms. I stepped right there beside them. Budge over ladies, make room. This mom is awesome, even when I'm not awesome, whether I'm on my pedestal or not!

I ♥ Orlando.

Orlando

When you hear Orlando in "normal" circles, you think Disney World. When you hear it in RADical circles, it's said with the same awe, but means something else. I can't link you to a specific website that says this is Orlando, because Orlando is bigger than that. It's some kind of gooey cloud of support and love that floats around covering different people in different ways. Yes, that's a bit of a cop-out because it's just that hard to describe! Read this post and those below for other descriptions.
In short, Orlando is a weekend for just trauma mamas called SOUL Sisters (Supporting Our Unconventional Lives). Mostly moms of kids with early trauma and attachment issues (aka RADicals, like ours).
In long, Orlando is amazing. Yes, I realize that's actually shorter. It's not just what you do there, or who you meet there, or what you learn there, it's just BEING THERE.
Being with 68 women who actually live in your shoes. People who understand better than the best therapist ever could and don't care what you say, because they're saying it too. Hearing conversations that start with "The first time my son tried to kill me" and not being surprised. Having conversations where you tell people what your REAL life is like, and not holding back for fear of shocking them. Never saying "we're fine thanks" because they'd know that was a lie and also because they actually want to know. Hearing stories that make you so appreciative of how far your kids have come, and others that give you hope of how far they can go, and others that remind you that you're so not ready to adopt any more!
It was also a refreshing getaway. I slept in, stayed in my jammies, took hour long showers, and read til the wee hours. I took lots of mental notes and just soaked in how other moms deal with kids, situations, and feelings. I heard great new ideas and ways to handle them. I was reminded that I do a lot of things right, and even more wrong, but greatly encouraged because I DO them.
Did you catch that?
These moms thought I was awesome just because I do them.
Most people have no idea that I do them.
Can you imagine? I honestly wish every single one of you could. For the FIRST time ever, I felt fully loved, respected, appreciated, and encouraged by people other than my husband who fully understand what it's like to live with RAD.
I also got to meet RADical moms I've read about for years. Christine, Lisa, Ali, and so so so many more. Well, 67 more. 67 more amazing women who are rock stars for even SURVIVING RAD, let alone helping their kids to heal. And the theme of the weekend? I am not alone. I'm not! You're not! I have a rock that says so and a Supergirl ring to remind me AND now a MAP OF OTHER TRAUMA MAMAS! (That map is both encouraging and heartbreaking. So much hurt all over the map.)
There's so much more, tattoos, pedicures, hooping, table dancing, laughing, crying, watching others run a 5k (while eating, in my jammies)... but you just had to be there. I thank Corey and Christine from the bottom of my RADical heart for letting me be there, at the last minute, and I pray I can go again next year!
Most of the group after a Greek dinner, during which most of us danced on tables at some point.
My amazing housemates after the Greek dinner.
Our house on the last day. I wish they all had RVs and we did a RADical caravan around the country!
More pics from the Orlando Flickr group (these pics shamelessly lifted from there).

More Orlando posts (oh my, so many!):
The Waggoners

Kristine

Mighty Isis
Sarah

Beemommy

Christine of WelcomeToMyBrain.net (another and another)
Corey - Saturday
Corey - Friday
Corey - Advance party
Ali
Roz
Storing Up Treasures (and again)

Mothering for Money
Marty's Musings
Ranch Chico
The Accidental Mommy
Story of Our Life
Sarah
Our Fab Five
Christina
The Short Bus
The Other Mother
CORoots
Mothering for Money
Peace in Puzzles (another and another)
Mama Drama
Stellar Parenting (another)

My Sweeter Chaos

Why North Dakota

Lisa
Sarah
GB's Mom
Brandy
Last Mom
Diana
Tiruba Tuba
With Love From Sumy
Stacey
D
Jamey (another and another)

I get to go to Orlando!!!

Oh my word! I get to go to Orlando next weekend!!! I'm still in shock! I saw Christine post on Twitter about coming to Orlando and just asked about her schedule, because we're currently near Orlando and I hoped to say hi. THEN I realized that she's coming for THE Orlando getaway that I had already written off last year thinking we wouldn't still be in Florida in March. Well, thanks to my procrastination of an event that I pushed back to later in March, I'm IN Florida, near Orlando, available, AND Christine had an opening in her house! (There are many houses this year!)
So, all of a sudden, I get to have a RADical weekend with many other RADical moms! How exciting is that?
Who else is going?? More info on Orlando here!
And here is my roommate! http://ramblingsofatraumamamma.blogspot.com/
And THAT Lisa from Life in the Grateful House?! And Ali from Crawford Life & Times?! And a new RVing family I'd heard about?!
I'm seriously freaking out here!